On February 14th, 2011, my dad passed away. Kristen and I traveled back to Vancouver for the funeral and while we were on the commuter train to Coquitlam, my thoughts kept on revolving around Psalm 13.
1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I take counsel in my soul
and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;
light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”
lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord,
because he has dealt bountifully with me.
This is one of my favorite Psalms in the Bible because it says what most of us are feeling. Most of us at some point or another question God’s plan for us, his commitment to our well being and the well being of those around us. We cry, we scream, we…heaven forbid, curse God because we are feeling alone. I was feeling that somewhat. I didn’t understand why God’s plan was for my father to never confess Jesus as Lord. To never embrace a God who would do anything and everything for him. I didn’t understand why I was never able to really share my full heart with my Dad or to hear from him often that he loved me and was proud of me.
What I love most about this psalm is that David, the writer, never stays in his anger and hurt and pain…he comes around to the end and says the big “But”! “But I trust in your steadfast love” or in other translations, “unfailing love.” David is able to look back over time and see that despite feelings of rejection and pain and loss, God has always been there. God has never left him.
As I was on the train listening to some worship music and reading this psalm, words began to flow into my journal. The words of a song. The words of my heart. What was cool and a point of healing to my spirit was that I hadn’t written a new song in about 2 and a half years. So, when I got back to Denver, I called up my new friend,
Lee Rannals and told him that I had something that we should work on. Literally in an hour we had the song finished and charted. A few weeks after that we gathered a few more new friends from our worship band at
Pathways Church and headed into the studio to record it. What came out was pretty cool. A song called Lament. Because, after all, that’s what Psalm 13 is…it’s a lament.
It will be hitting iTunes in the next few days…keeping checking here, facebook or subscribe to my Twitter feed for more details.
